PEETAH!!!

here i go again- trying to get into a play and stuff.

this time it's peter pan at wheelock. oh yeah, remember how earlier i said i couldn't go- well with the help of some really amazing people, i am actually making it work! yip yip!

so i work in the box office, right? and my desk is kiddie corner to jane (co-owner of the theater, producer of this show and the kind of person you think hates you but then you find out they don't and it's a total shock). so a few weeks ago, jane was muttering about auditions and i meekly asked for an audition spot. without even glancing at me she began writing my name into the 9pm slot and then with deliberate annunciation of each word said "i can't... guarantee you... a... spot... in the....show." it took me back for a second. i nervously giggled. and quickly touted that i didn't expect preferential treatment and busied myself with paperwork. YIKES!

then just last week, jane was headed to the chiropractor, which just so happened be to down the street from my house and she graciously offered to take me home. just before we took off, a good friend of mine at the theater, who is also jane's lunch buddy, told me about some anti-mormon book that jane had given her to read, just the other day. something about mormons killing indians or something like it. sheesh, as if this woman didn't already intimidate the crap out of me.

on the way home it came out that i was a mormon. this is what took place: (as you read jane talking: imagine that each word is slow and deliberate and a bit hesitated)

JANE: and where did that happen?
ME: in utah, where i grew up.
JANE: you grew up in the land of mormons?
ME: sure did {flash bright smile}
JANE: and are YOU a mormon?
{deep breath, big smile}
ME: i sure am
JANE: and are you a lapse mormon?
ME: oh, i don't know... what is that?
JANE: a mormon who no longer practices
ME: oh no, i tried that and it didn't work out for me- no, i am totally involved
JANE: oh no peggy
ME: uh-oh
JANE: well i have a book that you need to read then
ME: oh... okay but.. (being interrupted by jane)
JANE: but you might be ex-communicated if you do
(slight awkward pause as i gather my thoughts)
ME: actually, i don't think that's true...
JANE: i was just..... kidding

END SCENE

at this point we had reached our destination and as i opened the door i gratefully sucked in the fresh air, turned with big smile and thanked her for the ride.

now auditions are typically old hat for me. i usually get most nervous just right before i enter the room to sing my guts out. but i have to be honest, i'm a nervous nellie now. the rest of the week with jane was fine, she was her typical illusive self and i went about my business and the world still turned. but knowing that this woman despises my spiritual approbation has me all tied up in knots and stuff.

so hopefully i can keep it together enough to do my best- bah- who's jane any way? who cares that she can veto any one she wants for any reason, who cares that she has connections to all the major theaters in the greater boston area???

anyhoo- so i have decided to do something morbidly funny for my audition piece: there is a little monologue in the play 'dentity crisis, by christopher durang where the lead character is telling about this memory she had of someone taking her to see the play "peter pan" and how all these weird things kept happening like wendy getting fatter and fatter and by the 2nd act she was so huge she had to be rolled off the stage and when peter would fly the rope would break and peter would come crashing to the ground dead and they kept replacing the peters and they would crash down too. so we'll see if this choice plays out the way i hope it does.

alright- better go get to work and fine-tune my stuff.