MOVE IT AND LOSE IT

so i have begun the arduous task of packing things up, cleaning and junking superfluous things in my life. it's amazing how much STUFF one can accumulate over a 5 year period.

i am headed to my mom and dad's place in a week and half to go lounge around and soak up that warm dry-heat climate... i'm super stoked. so as not to be wasteful of good resources, i am also packing up two extra suitcases with things that can be taken via united airlines vs. spending mucho deniro shipping a gazillion boxes full of things.

basically my parents, who had already planned a trip with a few siblings and their families to Disneyland, are driving a few things out to CA for me (i LOVE them for that), since i have made the decision to sell my car and all of my belongings and just fly out there. shipping on the most important basics of my life.

today's task was to decide what goes, what stays, what gets shipped later and what gets junked! what a fun and interesting trip down memory lane as i sifted through old christmas cards, pictures, journals, notes and drawings by the many children i have come to call friends here. i was filled to the brim with nostalgia.

i was also struck by the reality of what i am doing. i'm leaving boston. i'm going. away. this isn't a vacation... i won't be living here anymore.

i guess this is the feeling most kids have when they leave home for the first time. the nervous, sad feeling to be leaving the only thing they've ever known.

i know what you're thinking. i didn't grow up here and on the contrary i have lived thousands of miles away for most of my life. but boston HAS been the place i grew up. the place i love to call home. the place that fits me like a glove. and leaving it is going to be so hard.

with a few boxes already packed and some things already junked, my room is already beginning to feel bare. to most of you, it probably wouldn't look any different, but to me the effects of the 'things' going away is already starting to tug at my heart strings.

ahhh boston, don't worry... i will come back as soon as i can. i won't be gone for long!

OH THE PLACES SHE'LL GO!

once upon a time, in the land called the bean
lived the happiest girl that you ever had seen
she was bright, she was fun
she had talents galore
but deep in her heart she knew there was more

time passed by oh so quick, as quick as a hare
and before she knew it, her "sparkle" cupboards were bare
she felt down, she moped on
the confusion pressed down
in her usual way, she had to fight down each frown

slowly the answers came from above
small spurts of knowledge sent with much love
she ignored, she rebelled
tried sweeping under the bed
but those answers kept poking inside of her head

with tears and trepidation a prayer was said with closed eyes
and made the choice to follow what she knew she'd despise
she weeped, she wailed
she gnashed all of her teeth
when the decision was final, she felt oh so much peace

as much as she fought it she knew it was right
she would pack all her things and and bid boston goodnight
she told family and friends
the hardest words to be told
she told her job, made it official- it was really quite bold

"where are you going?" they all asked in much shock
"why would leave our cozy little flock"
she winced, she smiled
"because i know it's alright
though i have no clue what's ahead, what's in sight"

children's production has always been in my dreams
in L.A. there are so many more chances it seems
she trusts and she hopes
that what's in store is more rich
than the things she'd have chosen for her life and her sitch

so in september boston will bid goodbye
until this chapter in her life no longer has a 'why'
she persists, she fights on
she'll go wherever it takes
to see what the Lord has in store for her life, what He makes

don't worry about this crazy little girl
she may be sad that her life, once again is a whirl
but she's still smiles and sparkles
and will win in the end
because she listened to promptings of her trusted, true friend

I CHOOSE TO BE A TIGGER

TAKE A MEETING

when you wanna get anywhere... you have to reach out.

so tomorrow, i'm reaching.

i'm taking a meeting with a friend of a friend.

somehow, someway, somewhere this has to help things progress.

i'll let you know how it goes.

yes i am still being pretty cryptic so as not to accidentally say things that could stand in my way.

but i figure for the 2 people that read this blog, you'll probably already know what's going on with me anyway and won't need to ask.

POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING

i had a friend in town this past weekend. on our way to church, in his pimped out caddy rental i told him we would probably have to park far away because we were a bit late... he scoffed and told me that we were going to get really close parking because he had decided it. i totally made fun of him for this and he talked my ear off about how good things will happen to those that believe it. then he turned into the "horse-shoe" (the circular street right outside the church, where there is almost ALWAYS no parking for us late-comers). i was floored when, right in the front of the door to the chapel was a HUGE parking space- with plenty of space for our mother-load of a car.

point taken.

i have been thinking about this a lot and realized something about myself. when i was younger, the world nor anyone that would dare to try could not stop me from being who i wanted to be. i was empowered by my positive thoughts- and good things did come my way- mostly because i decided they would be that way.

then life happened. disappointments happened. people and things let me down and somewhere along the way i became good friends with the cynic monster. not always believing in the good things... not always expecting things to go right-- on the contrary-- knowing they would go wrong... because that's what happens in my world. being the fulfiller of my own negative prophecies of failure.

i have decided it's time to bring back the old peggy that had all the confidence in the world to become anything she wants to be... that has the drive to make it all happen and can use the knowledge gained over those hard years to make the better decisions and focus on the "open parking spot." no more poo pooing my plans- no more second guessing myself- no more negativity!

dude i am so ready for my prime parking spot- i've waited so long for this... it's my turn!

A Little Help From My Friends

i had dinner tonight with a friend of mine who is a very well-known individual. although she has been in the national and international spotlight before, she is the most genuine, kind person you'd meet.

this friend has been so very ready to be a cheerleader for me as i embark on my crazy journey to reach my goals. i can't tell you how grateful i am for her support.

one of the last things she said to me before i left her house was:

"peggy, i can just tell that you will be great at this... you can just tell that you have something in your life that you need to do... it's just such a strong feeling. there's something you were meant to do."

as she said this i was reminded of several blessings i have been given over the past two years of my life. the feeling struck me again and i felt this strange sort of power- like what i am trying to accomplish is actually a reality for me... it's within my grasp... it's real.

is it even possible to be afraid that the things you've always hoped for will actually come true? why would i be afraid of that?

but dudes- i AM going to make this happen. just wait and see.

AHHHH MAN!!!

did i tell you guys that i turned down an offer to work as a PA on the new sandra bullock movie that's being made here? i know you are all screaming at me.

a) i had to say no-- when i commit to something, i commit-- and since i love my boss and because i had already told him i would work through this season i had to say it... just had to.

b) believe me it hurt my heart to do it-- but hopefully because i was faithful to my commitments, i will be blessed with other such opportunities!

c) yes after the drama at my work over the past few weeks i AM kicking myself hard for being a stupid loyal-head!!!